My Mother Bear, My Shero

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My mother bear is my shero, hands down, but she wears no cape. She has always been and will always be. Since I’ve been a remembering person, she has always stood up for me and protected me against all odds. My Mama was the parent who always visited my school teachers with treats, created friendships with them so she could have access to discuss my performance and her many grievances.

I guess I always took her love and protectiveness for granted until I started reading stories here about people who have terrible mothers. Now I know I am blessed with a mother bear, a shero who wears no cape. I have always loved and adored her, but from here on after, I will let her know everyday, that she is the most awesome person I know.

From a very young age, my ‘capeless’ shero taught me boundaries and personal space. She taught me my body was mine, a precious gift from God, and I was required to take care of it with pride and care. Mama taught me about my body, by name, my vagina didn’t have a nickname in our household. It was, still is and will always be a vagina and/or its appropriate equivalent in whatever language we speak.

While my mates were talking about growing up and getting married, while their mothers drilled into them the need to master cooking to find a husband, my mother said, “You don’t need to prepare yourself for a husband, prepare yourself for your life.”

As I got older and her teachings got deeper, she said, “Learn to love yourself, love your own company, so that married, widowed, single or divorced, you can live and enjoy life.”

One of the things she told me that I’ve kept close to my heart is, “Do not try to be likeable. Be true to yourself. Don’t smile, be polite, or civil to anyone who makes you uncomfortable. Enforce your boundaries, and let them think you rude if they may.”

My mother bear, the shero who wears no cape. She taught me to safeguard my mental health from a very young age. She instilled the importance of speaking up in me. And he always said, “Don’t worry about anyone not inviting you to the table, you’re the whole damn restaurant!”

Now as a young woman, my confidence is unshakeable! Nothing anyone says or does to me gets me, because guess what, my mama bear told me I am more than enough. No other words matter.

Even though she and my father never married, she was very intentional about maintaining a very great relationship with my father on my behalf. She would lend him her car so he could drive me to places. And she kept a great relationship with my step-mother, who happens to be the one who upended her relationship with my father.

My mother bear only married when I was well into my late teens and had my only brother. I asked her why it took her so long to give me a sibling, she said, “I met a man once whose condition to marrying me was that I send you to live with your grandmother. So I waited till I found a man who was accepting of you.”

Now that I am older and wiser, I see her for the absolutely phenomenal woman she is and I am forever indebted to her. She is my very best friend, and I hope she lives very long so I can love her and bask in her strength for a long time. My Mama Bear, my shero, she built me up. Only God can tear me down!

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Difficult childhood? Learn from people who have overcome childhood adversity.

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Adwoa Danso

I am a connoisseur of life stories, and writing is my first love. I believe we can empower, educate and uplift by telling our stories. Writing is my happy place.

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My Mother Bear, My Shero

One of the things she told me that I’ve kept close to my heart is, “Do not try to be likeable. Be true to yourself. Don’t smile, be polite, or civil to anyone who makes you uncomfortable. Enforce your boundaries, and let them think you rude if they may.”

Adwoa Danso

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