My Heartbreak: Love And Loss

He loved me, no two ways about that. Heck, he gave me his hard earned salary to rent a place, amongst other things. When I look around in my room there’s a lot that reminds me of him. We did so much together, we understood each other. We are both Thursday born, so it was easier to connect. Both families knew and accepted us. We even performed our knocking ceremony, attended family, church and social functions together.

Two years into the relationship, a week before we could start our counselling session, disaster struck…. His father passed, so everything had to be put on hold. A couple of months later, COVID-19 happened. He wanted me to move to the West with him, have a child before marriage but I kicked against it; I am not a good girl, I was just scared. So he cheated…. Got himself a woman and pretended everything was okay between us. No, I didn’t have proof, just my dreams.

You see, in the early stages of our relationship I prayed. I told God to send me a sign if anything started going wrong with my relationship and it worked perfectly. Three different dreams and I was convinced he was hiding something. In November 2020, his father was laid to rest. I was there to support him, my father was there too. On Sunday, after the Thanksgiving service, I was with him when I requested to use his phone. While he was in the bathroom freshening up, a message popped up and that was my undoing.

I cried He begged I wanted a breakup, he said no. He claimed he would choose me . So I forgave. I stayed. And I hoped. I still loved. Then In January 2021 I had another dream that convinced me that all was not well. So I asked. I cajoled. Finally he told me that the lady was pregnant.

Bottom line, he broke my heart and threw four years of hard work and commitment away. I’ve loved and lost; if you ever opened your heart enough to love without restraint and subsequently were devastated by loss, you know in that moment you are forever changed

I still can’t believe it was so easy for him to move on. I cried. God, I cried. Begged. Made promises. Anything to make him stay. But he’s happy somewhere else. It still hurts, he was the love of my life. He made me happy, made me comfortable. He almost always walked me home from work, travelled to Accra to visit me when he could. Anytime I was on break, I also visited him in the Western Region, and it was always a week filled with laughter and happiness.

I miss him. I miss all the Thursdays we prayed together on the phone. The jokes we shared. They tied the knot on Saturday, January 15, 2022. This is my closure I’m ready to move on, I have to move on. What is there to hope for, right?

Editor’s Note:

There is a whole lot to hope for. Love and loss isn’t the end. You have life, you sound like a very articulate intelligent young woman.

The world is your stage, own it. But to put it in context, there is absolutely nothing to hope for in and with a person who has no integrity, and no respect for you and the time you invested in him. If a partner and one you intent to marry for that matter does not see your magic and treat you as such, they are not worth your lifetime commitment.

Would you have rather invested four more years into lies and deceit?  To me, investing more time and energy into a person like that is like fetching water into a very leaky bucket, no matter how hard you work or how dedicated you are, your work will come to naught.

So honey plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, because all a woman has at the end when all is said and done, is herself. You are enough all by yourself. The right one will find you on bended knee with his heart in his sleeve.

And Oh, the best form of revenge is success!