– Doreen Virtue
A friendly Bull lived on a farm close to a lake, he was kind and lovely. All the animals loved him, he helped everyone as much as he could, often going above and beyond, bending over backwards to please his friends.
When Pig complained his sty was filthy and uncomfortable, Bull didn’t ask Pig to clean it, and not be such a grimy soul. Instead Bull made use of his horns and raked the sty clean. When all was done, he smelled horrible, and yet uttered not a word of complaint because Pig was indeed happy and that was all that mattered.
The day Peacock cried about her most adorable feather getting stuck on a thorny tree, Bull didn’t mind the thorns, he head-butted the tree until the feather came floating down. Peacock was happy, very happy as she tucked the feather back on her tail.
“Thank you Bull,” she purred.
“Always welcome,” Bull replied.
Never mind his bleeding, open wounds from the thorns. He didn’t see why boundaries were important, never even crossed his mind. As long as his friends loved and appreciated him, Bull was good. He failed to see why personal boundaries were necessary for healthy relationships.
Bull shared all his problems with his friends; everybody knew his business, his innermost thoughts and his fears. Everybody knew Bull was lonely, and he needed a friend.
So it was all joy and celebration when Bluebird proudly announced one day that she had found Bull a mate in a nearby farm across the lake.
“She is the most beautiful Cow. So dignified and such a lady,” Bluebird announced.
Everybody agreed Bull should go see her for himself. And so Bull sent a message to Cow through Bluebird, “Can I come see you?”
Bluebird returned with a pleasant response, “Yes come see me. I have heard so much about you. I would love to meet you.”
Bull went to see Cow, crossing the lake with a wooden boat. She was perfect.
“Will you marry me?” he asked her
“Why yes!” she replied.
They set a date. Bull told all his friends and everyone wanted to go. And so arrangements were made to ride the wooden boat on the day of the wedding. Bluebird and all the other flying birds opted to fly over to the farm, but Woodpecker thought it would be fun to ride the boat with everyone else. Per usual, Bull agreed. He didn’t see what the fuss was about when Guinea Pig pulled him to the side to admonish him.
“What is wrong with you? Do you not know why boundaries are important? You would get on a wooden boat with Wood Pecker to cross that lake?” Guinea Pig admonished.
“I don’t see why not,” Bull said
“You should see why not! Wood Pecker will drill holes in the boat and sink it before you can say jack!”
“I’ll just talk to her, and tell her not to do that,” Bull replied.
“How about you tell her no. No, you cannot come on the boat with us, fly,” Guinea Pig pressed.
“I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I don’t want to have to explain to her she can’t ride with us because of who she is,” Bull said.
“Don’t explain anything then. Just say no. No is a complete sentence.”
“I think she will know not to peck at the boat, let’s not start any uncomfortable discourse,” Bull said.
“Learn to set healthy boundaries Bull, your lack of personal boundaries will be your undoing one day,” Guinea Pig said.
“I will be fine,” Bull said weakly.
“No you won’t. You fail to see why setting boundaries translates to self love and that is why you won’t be fine,” Guinea Pig replied angrily.
On the day of, the animals except Guinea Pig packed into the boat .Guinea Pig waved them goodbye, adding, “I hope I am wrong, but if I am right, I don’t know how to swim. My personal boundary is to not willfully accept to drown.”
Wood Pecker pecked wood by her very nature. So she did peck at the boat, and create a hole. In the deep end of the lake, water rushed into the boat and it capsized. All the animals swam safely to shore, sopping wet and muddy. Wood Pecker flew to the shore, dry and impeccable.
Cow could not believe how unsightly her groom looked. She was indeed disappointed and angry, “I will not marry you like this,” she said, adding as she stomped away, “Go clean up and while you’re at it, clean your thought process too.”
And thus Bull did not get married on his wedding day.
Repeat after me: Boundaries are not mean, selfish or unkind. Boundaries are self-love.
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A great perspective on boundaries. Saying no can be so hard when you want to please or even help everyone else.
This is a great story, with a great lesson! It’s memorable! Boundaries are so important, for ourselves, and for others.
What freedom comes with realizing that “No” is a complete sentence.
Great story! It can be a struggle to set boundaries, but they’re very important!
The one I say to my family all the time… “No means No, not maybe, not it’s up to you”.. Boundaries are taught from a young age to protect children!
A wonderful reminder put in such a sweet way. Thank you!
So true! Trying to be everything to everybody satisfies no one (including yourself).
I think the bull has a good soul and he needed this lesson to teach him.
No is not always easy, but I’m 100% on board with boundaries!
Boundaries are important and there should be clear consequences when the boundaries are violated.
No is a very important word. We often feel so guilty for saying no to things but sometimes self-care is saying no. <3
Perfect lesson. Boundaries are very important for self preservation! Whether we realize it or not! It is not selfish. It is smart.
I have had to learn to exercise my no muscle gently, without being unkind.
Wow – while reading through this story I was reminded of a recent personal situation with a neighbor. If I had just said “no” instead of trying to be nice, my story’s end would have been so different. What a perspective!
I am so glad that people are starting to recognized that ‘no’ is an acceptable answer. Slowly, but it is happening
Boundaries are hard and complicated.
This is one of the best descriptions for boundaries I’ve read.
Setting boundaries is one of the hardest things to do!
Boundaries are not mean, selfish or unkind. Boundaries are self-love. Love this and this whole post! Thank you!! I recently set boundaries and it was an uncomfortable conversation but I felt strong and loved (by me!) afterwards.
Great parable.
Oh, my. What a great story. But I did feel sorry for the bull even though I know you are right.
I’ve had to work hard in the last few years to erect boundaries. Honestly, it’s almost part of my self-care. I do so much better with them up around certain people or situations.
Great story. Boundaries are very important, and sometimes I still have trouble setting them. But it is definitely an important lesson to learn.
A very neat story. I think animal stories are a great way to get a point across.
What an important lesson to learn about boundaries. It took me until my mid-40’s to learn this.
This is a great way to share this important life skill. Setting boundaries will help you be happier in the long run!
And that’s exactly how we learn the importance of boundaries, most of the time. We allow people to take advantage or cause harm. And THEN we learn and decide, “no more”. Great story.
Lessons learned! Great story!