Healthy Boundaries: The Farmer And The Wolf

“Healthy boundaries can serve to establish one’s identity. Specifically, healthy boundaries can help people define their individuality and can help people indicate what they will and will not hold themselves responsible for.”

-Anonymous

Friendships Require Healthy Boundaries

One hot, impossibly dry afternoon, a farmer tilled his land and made mounds, readying for impending rain. It had been a particularly long, hot and dry season in the savanna. Both humans and animals had suffered a severe famine. 

Stomachs were empty, pockets were empty, so were barns. The rivers had dried, except for a few spots where wells had been dug in the riverbed. The land was parched and cracked from the relentless heat of the sun and lack of rain. Food was scarce, water was scarce, the only abundance appeared to be death and short tempers; a hungry man is an angry man. Many migrated that could, but many more remained to contend with the forces of nature.

It was a welcome relief when the clouds began to gather, offering the promise of rain. Farmers set to work, readying their land in anticipation of the wet blessing of the heavens.

One hot, impossibly dry afternoon, a farmer tilled his land and made mounds, readying for impending rain. As he worked, he heard growls and howls and barks. The farmer was no stranger to animal sounds, he knew a hyena’s bark and a wolf’s growl and howl. What did astound him however was the fact that these sounds were mixing; he knew wolf’s and hyenas did not socialize.

And so the farmer climbed a baobab tree to get a good look at what was causing the ruckus. He observed a pack of hyenas that had cornered a pregnant wolf and were going for the kill. The farmer was thus moved to help the pregnant wolf, so he climbed down to get his bow and arrows, then climbed to the highest point of the baobab to get a better view of the animals. He began to shoot arrows at the hyenas, with speed, persistence and precision. The hyenas grew weary of the pesky arrows soon enough and left the injured, bleeding and very weak wolf alone. 

When it was safe to do so, the farmer moved the wolf to his farm and built a fort of dead leaves, twigs and tree branches for it. He then masked its scent by burning baobab leaves and fruits; this he did to throw off the hyenas should they decide to return. He then tended to the wolf’s injuries and stopped the bleeding.

For weeks the farmer took care of the injured, pregnant wolf. He nursed its sores, and shared the little food he had; chunks of meat from animals he trapped in the woods. And before long, the wolf was up and limping around the farm. It appeared unbothered by the farmer’s presence; it ate the food he provided and drank the water he left for it.

Boundaries Are Part Of Self-Care

The farmer was proud of himself indeed. He knew he’d not only saved the wolf’s life but that of its unborn. He cherished the budding friendship between himself and the wolf, and made no plans to send it away, he did not see any need for healthy boundaries between himself and his new found friend. And so for weeks man and wolf cohabited on the farm, the former planting seeds and the latter healing and regaining much needed strength.

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