Ask Misskorang: How Do I Fly Out Of Ghana To Visit My Online Lover?

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I have met a really generous, wonderful man online, and I want to go and be with him. And no I will not be telling my family about my travel plans. My man and I have decided we’ll keep it under wraps.

For my mother, I have always been a tool. A tool to frustrate my father, a tool to feed her anger and frustration. She has always, always required that I stay close to her, but she has never been kind to me.

When I was born, my parents were not together. In fact I have never had much of any relationship with my father. In my early childhood, as far as I can remember, it has been me, my grandmother and my mother.

My earliest memories of my father are of him visiting our home in Agogo and my mother fighting loudly with him, calling him all kinds of names, while he either calmly walked away or sat quietly and collected the insults. My mom’s favorite thing to say to my father is, “Irresponsible!”

I was always an inactive, sick child, always anemic, always underweight and exhausted. My grandma and mother said I was lazy, but I was just too weak to do anything. It is now that I am nineteen that I have been able to afford a doctor who has diagnosed me with hepatitis C and acute , chronic liver disease, something the health workers believe I contracted at my birth when my mother received a blood transfusion. He graciously put me in intensive liver therapy, and for the first time in my life I feel active. I am beginning to put on weight and I can eat well. The sad thing is my mother didn’t pay for the therapy or seek help for me, I did it on my own. I used funds I received from my online boyfriend to pay for the treatment.

And that brings me to why I’m writing you:

My mother has always been mean to me. She hardly ever called me by my name, instead she called me, “Tortoise” or, “Electric Pole”. Tortoise because I am slow (due to a disease I didn’t know I had) and electric pole because I am very tall and lanky. Even though she didn’t care much about me, she never allowed my father to assume custody of me. And I know my father tried several times, to the extent of going to court, but to no avail.

Even though her own marriages have been nothing to write home about, my mother has always made sure to let me know I won’t find a husband given the way I’m all bones and no flesh. Every single day, I go through verbal abuse at the hands of my mother.

I’ve been home after passing my WASSCE exams. My father said to give him a year to gather the required finances to send me to tertiary. Since I’m older, I went to live with my father against my mother’s wishes, but my step-mother clearly didn’t want me in her home, so I chose to not cause my father anymore problems and returned home to my mother’s abuse.

The insults from my mother about my body made me so sad that one day, I went on instagram to say I was unhappy. That’s how my online boyfriend started chatting with me and we eventually became friends and now are dating. He sends me money and gifts a lot. And he cheers me up all the time.

He sent me money to apply for a passport which I have now. And he’s sent me documents to apply for a visa to the Netherlands where he lives. My application has been received and they retained my passport, saying they will contact me in about four weeks to get the visa. I have really not told anyone, because I’m unable to go to my mother with anything, and for my father, I know he will say I should stay and finish school. But I am tired of living in a place where nobody really wants me. I have been suicidal, and my man now has brought me happiness, so I want to go and make a life with him.

The issue now is with travel plans, he has been unable to make plans to come down, so I could travel with him. He says he will meet in the Netherlands, because his visa application to Ghana was denied. I have not traveled anywhere on my own before, I am afraid.

Can you ask your audience if anyone is traveling to the Netherlands around August or September so I can join them? I am even afraid of flying so having company will be very good for me.

MissKorang says:

Close your eyes for a minute and let’s pray:

Merciful God in heaven, please deliver this baby from the clutches of sex traffickers. Father deliver her from the hands of dealers in black market human parts and organs. Amen.

Dear girl, I am glad you found what ails you and are getting better. You see that liver your ‘man’ helped you heal, he will harvest it without a second thought. He doesn’t want to come and get you because when you go missing, he doesn’t want you to be traced to him. That man will either force you into prostitution or murder you! You see all that money he’s sending you, he’s waiting for his return on investment.

Your Mama may be mean, but anyone asking you to make such a journey while keeping your entire family in the dark is just plain evil!

But I know all I’m saying has fallen on deaf ears, so here’s what we’ll do; please email me your full name and date of birth, I will use my contacts to get the Netherlands Embassy to find you a chaperone so you can travel safely okay.

I am waiting for your details. Thanks for trusting me with your story.

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