“Healthy boundaries can serve to establish one’s identity. Specifically, healthy boundaries can help people define their individuality and can help people indicate what they will and will not hold themselves responsible for.”
-Anonymous
Friendships Require Healthy Boundaries
One hot, impossibly dry afternoon, a farmer tilled his land and made mounds, readying for impending rain. It had been a particularly long, hot and dry season in the savanna. Both humans and animals had suffered a severe famine.
Stomachs were empty, pockets were empty, so were barns. The rivers had dried, except for a few spots where wells had been dug in the riverbed. The land was parched and cracked from the relentless heat of the sun and lack of rain. Food was scarce, water was scarce, the only abundance appeared to be death and short tempers; a hungry man is an angry man. Many migrated that could, but many more remained to contend with the forces of nature.
It was a welcome relief when the clouds began to gather, offering the promise of rain. Farmers set to work, readying their land in anticipation of the wet blessing of the heavens.
One hot, impossibly dry afternoon, a farmer tilled his land and made mounds, readying for impending rain. As he worked, he heard growls and howls and barks. The farmer was no stranger to animal sounds, he knew a hyena’s bark and a wolf’s growl and howl. What did astound him however was the fact that these sounds were mixing; he knew wolf’s and hyenas did not socialize.
And so the farmer climbed a baobab tree to get a good look at what was causing the ruckus. He observed a pack of hyenas that had cornered a pregnant wolf and were going for the kill. The farmer was thus moved to help the pregnant wolf, so he climbed down to get his bow and arrows, then climbed to the highest point of the baobab to get a better view of the animals. He began to shoot arrows at the hyenas, with speed, persistence and precision. The hyenas grew weary of the pesky arrows soon enough and left the injured, bleeding and very weak wolf alone.
When it was safe to do so, the farmer moved the wolf to his farm and built a fort of dead leaves, twigs and tree branches for it. He then masked its scent by burning baobab leaves and fruits; this he did to throw off the hyenas should they decide to return. He then tended to the wolf’s injuries and stopped the bleeding.
For weeks the farmer took care of the injured, pregnant wolf. He nursed its sores, and shared the little food he had; chunks of meat from animals he trapped in the woods. And before long, the wolf was up and limping around the farm. It appeared unbothered by the farmer’s presence; it ate the food he provided and drank the water he left for it.
Boundaries Are Part Of Self-Care
The farmer was proud of himself indeed. He knew he’d not only saved the wolf’s life but that of its unborn. He cherished the budding friendship between himself and the wolf, and made no plans to send it away, he did not see any need for healthy boundaries between himself and his new found friend. And so for weeks man and wolf cohabited on the farm, the former planting seeds and the latter healing and regaining much needed strength.
Whenever he got the nagging feeling that he was unhealthily and dangerously close to the beast, the man pushed those thoughts aside. He loved his friend, and his friend loved him, he didn’t need boundaries.
As the wolf got healthier and its pregnancy progressed, so did its appetite grow. But being heavily pregnant and separated from its pack meant it couldn’t hunt, so it depended on the meagre chunks of meat the farmer provided.
Sensing his friend was due to birth its pups anytime soon, the farmer decided to tidy and reinforce its den. So he cleaned the den and gathered fresh leaves to build a bed. As he knelt down, arranging leaves and twigs for his friend, the wolf stood watching.
The crouching man awakened a primal instinct in the beast. It pounced. The man became a very satiating lunch. It wasn’t being ungrateful or mean, the wolf was being what it was; a wolf, a predator, a carnivore.
It is noble to help people, show them love and care, but not all people deserve to be in your space while you help them. Some people by their very nature require hefty doses of healthy boundaries, else they will hurt you in ways you may never be able to recover.
So set healthy boundaries. For your own peace of mind, assess situations and set very healthy boundaries. And beware of the company you keep.
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MissKorang
I am a mom, wife, believer in God and a lover of stories. I love storytelling because I believe it is a potent means to inspire and educate.
Great story with a great moral. Healthy boundaries are so important!
Yes! You are absolutely correct! Boundaries ae essential for healthy relationships that respect others.
Personal boundaries are so important! The stories you share are always thought provoking! Thank you for sharing your insight! Loved it!!
Many problems could be avoided if people learned to have and respect healthy boundaries
I love boundaries and was fortunate that I learned this at a young age. I love your stories too … they are so relatable.
What a great reminder! Boundaries are hard to develop and keep at times.
As usual, your stories illustrate your message well. Erecting and maintaining boundaries is challenging, but I feel so much better managing life with them up!
This was a great analogy.
Ouch! I didn’t expect that. I was hoping for a happy end but thank you for the warning:)
Great reminder! I’m sure there are people who really need this advice.
Wow. This one hit me right in the heart. I’ve definitely learned this lesson the hard way over the years. Boundaries are more important than we ever realize.
Great story. I completely agree about boundaries. I have definitely been in a position where I have been a little lax and had it bite me. Important lesson to learn.
So true! It is interesting how wild animals behave and hunger will control actions.
I’m glad that more people are recognizing boundaries as being healthy and necessary for our personal well-being.
What a great analogy!
It can be hard for people to put up healthy boundaries with people they love, but they are what’s truly needed for health of the body, mind, and spirit.
Many blessings my sister.
Nice story.
So important! Boundaries are a form of love — self love and love for others.
Boundaries are so important for all aspects of our lives – it’s something we should keep in mind more often!
Great tale. I used to be very bad at setting boundaries. Pain and disappointment often resulted. I’m so much better at boundary setting now!