Life Story: He Was My Christian Mentor Before He Became My Rapist

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MissKorang, I have a question. Help me answer it. Question is how do you prove your friend raped you? He was my christian mentor, then without warning, he became my rapist. But who will believe me?

So I met this guy, he approached me as a Christian, told me about his family, and made friends with me. He was very intentional in pursuing with with Christianity. I grew to like and trust him, and thought him a Godly man and a friend. Through our friendship, he became my Christian mentor. Even though I didn’t attend his church, he would always make time to go through scripture, on phone or in person with me and help me make sense of all the confusion in my life.

This guy is an active member of his church. Part of the church leadership and very involved in the church’s youth development. He always showed me photos of the young people he was mentoring and helping.

I needed a friend, I didn’t have anyone helping me make sense of life. Fresh from school, I had been sent out on my own with very little skill to survive on my own apart from a college degree and a job I was struggling to hold on to. I was new in a big city, alone, with no friends. Our offices were close to each other, that is how he met and approached me with Christ, and then he became my Christian mentor.

He would sometimes visit my office, just to say hello and make sure I was doing fine. Other times, he took me to lunch and asked about my life. He told me about his perfect, prayerful wife and their budding, young family. Not once did this man make any sexual or romantic advances towards me. In my mind, I had found a brother, a Christian mentor, sent from above to help me through a lonely place in my life.

Then one day we both found ourselves in Nigeria on business trips from our respective employers. Actually I posted on social media that I was eating catfish at a particular place in Lagos. That’s how he reached out to me on facebook and said he was there too. He asked for the hotel I was staying at, and came over. That’s when things got murky and ugly. As soon as he entered my hotel room, he stripped out of his clothes, stark naked, then he proceeded to take off my shorts and forcibly have sex with me. Misskorang I was so stunned I could not react. I just sat there shocked, watching him. Given the choice to fight or flee, I froze. All I did was repeatedly say, “No, no, no,no,” over and over.

When he finished, he told me I was a witch. I bewitched him, because he’s an anointed man and he’s never done that with anyone. He also said he could see I wanted it because I didn’t protest. I have blamed myself for years, and carried this shame for years. I believed I had really done something wrong. And I thought it was my fault that my christian mentor had fallen.

After the incident he still continued to pretend we were friends, he insisted he was still a christian mentor to me. He foisted his friendship on me. When the incident happened, I was about twenty four years old.

This thing has disturbed me for years. It took me years to confide in an older woman who helped me understand this guy had raped me. So I finally confronted him and he offered a half-baked apology riddled with excuses and justifications of his actions.

It’s been about four years, and this incident keeps plaguing my mind. And sometimes it sends me into such a rage. I want to hurt this guy. Sometimes I feel like luring him to a place and stabbing him. But I don’t want to destroy or complicate my life because of that hypocrite. What would you do, MissKorang?

MissKorang Says:

First things first; this dude is not Christian, and he is no mentor. He is a sexual predator. Anyone who puts themselves in the confidence of another under the guise of being their help and mentor, who assumes a position of power and influence in another’s life, only to abuse that confidence is a spawn of the devil, not a christian. So no, your guy is not christian mentor, he is a lowlife slimeball.

When Jesus spoke about wolves in sheep’s clothing in Mathew 7:15, he was talking about this supposed christian mentor; a rapist posing as a christain.

The Bible speaks of how the followers of Christ came to be known as christians. People began to notice they did things like Christ had done, and thus named then Christ-like, christians. There is nowhere in the Bible where Jesus took advantage of the weak, of people who trusted Him, and blamed them to boot.

So hear me loud and clear:

You are not a witch, he is a weak man.

He is not anointed, he is a weak man.

You did not ask for the assault, he planned it from the get go.

He is not any christian mentor, he is a damned rapist!

And he sought you out not to help you, he preyed on you. He is a sexual predator!

As to what to do. Let me take a deep breath, woooooosaaaaaahhhhh!!

It will be hard to prove the crime, because too much time has passed, you do not have any physical evidence. And that weak man will vehemently deny he did you any wrong. And when cornered, he might claim the sex was consesual.

What I would do would be to report him to his church and his wife. You said he offered you some half assed apologies, do you have evidence of those? Were they text messages and did you keep them? If not rehash the conversation, get him to apologize or admit something, record it and take it to his wonderful, prayerful wife and his church.

I bet you sis, that you aren’t the only one that predator has assaulted. I shudder to think of the female youth he’s ‘mentoring’ in his church.If the church should do some proper investigation, others may come forward. One sad thing that I’ll caution you about though, do not get your hopes up with regards to his church doing much about his behavior. The Church has a long history of covering up sexual crimes, yours may not be any different.

If you are able to get him to confess in text or audio, and you don’t get any sensible response from the church, please bring me the evidence and names of this predator, his pastor and the church, I will help them along.

And another thing I would do is seek help from professionals to live life without that ugly incident hanging over you. Don’t let that sexual predator imprison you with his weakness for the entirety of your life. Heal. Move on. Live.

Healing starts by admitting and talking about your pain, so congratulations for telling me your story.

I wish you well.

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